Blogs and Tabloids Are Abuzz With Rumors: The Chimp & Pickles Are Tacitly Seperated

It's not really a 'secret'. The tabloids--the supermarket check-out counter library materials-- are quite noisily discussing it. Pickles allegedly has moved into a swanky DC hotel, because the Chimp-in-Chief, our feckless leader, has 1) toppled headlong off the wagon (as a dry-drunk, this form of relapse was ALWAYS a possibility, even a probability), and 2) been shagging Condi Rice, his willowy, incompetent, gap-toothed, nappy-haired Secretary of State (as a kid, the Chimp probably lost his cherry to a black or brown whore down in the Deep Ellum, in Dallas, developing a life-long preference for 'dat brown sugah').

If the tabs are on it, the 'legitimate press' is hanging WAAAAY back: the better 'bred' members of the SCUM seem to not want to discuss these distressing possibilities at all. Apparently they fear causing unnecessary tensions among the First Couple while they try to sort out their marital arrangements. Possibly the agree that publicity of the sort that would attend revelations of this sort might tip the Dim Son over the brink and he'd incinerate the world in a fit of connubial pique.

As I consider this situation, it strikes me that this is one of the times when it would be nice to have a Faux Noise-type, liberal Teevee cabloid show to--very serioulsy, you know, very gravely--discuss whether or not the Chimp were back on the sauce, if he were banging Condi, whether Pickles had decamped. This could be handled at LEAST as tastefully as the discussions in 1997-98 about the Clenis' cigars, where they went, and what became of them in--ahem--the end.

Because you KNOW if there were ANY Dem in office about whom similar rumors--of marital discord, infidelity, and boozing--were circulating, the Flying-Monkey Echo Chamber would be ringing with the story.