Sunday, May 21, 2006

The 1% Solution: My Modest Proposal

Many aging progressives and liberals are now confronting the most dangerous decades of their lives. This is because the longer one lives, the better become the chances that one will incur some dread, mortal disease or debilitating injury.

Think ALS, or AIDS, or Alzheimer's, or any one of the increasing number of fast-acting, deadly cancers which our current life-style have made so much more likely and commonpalce. Remember what happened to Chris Reeve?

The way things are now, the fight/struggle of the victim of such a disease or injury against its inevitable mortality could well destroy the financial stability of their nearest and dearest, undercut their family's prospects, and, for the foreseeable future, reduce the family penury.

This is indeed the dilemma we ALL face, of course--some just sooner than others. What should one do in such an exigency?

Well, I have a plan. Instead of simply complaining and whining away the few years or months remaining to you; and instead of spending all your and your family's resources in a futile effort to postpone the inevitable a little while longer, with a little planning and some intitiative, you too might be able to turn a personal tragedy into a national celebration.

Try TAFFWY! If you're going down anyway: "Take A Fascist/Fundie With You!"

The really great thing about TAFFWY is that you don't have to reach very far up the fundie/fascist food chain to have a desireable, noticeable effect. You do NOT have to take a Scalia or a Clarence Thomas out when you go--much less a Bush, Rice, Rummie, or other highly placed luminary of the Fascisti.

It could be someone as minor (and as easy to get to) as Ralph Reed, or Jerry Falwell? Pat Robertson? Dennis Hastert? Jim Bunning? Your local fire-breathing homophobic cleric? Any loss to them is a gain for us...

These guys would be pieces of cake, really, to a truly determined person who knows he or she is ALREADY dead, but just waiting for the death certificate. Hell, a couple of folks together could probably get James Dobson, or Beverly LaHaye, and forever enshrine their names in the pantheon of true American martyrs.

So, if in the next couple of years, you are unfortunate enough to receive word of your impending, untimely demise, make the most of it: TAFFWY! If just one percent of those so afflicted would act, it would make the task of reclaiming the country a lot easier for the rest of us.

Remember: when it's late in the midnight, and ol' man Death comes a'stealin' in the room, try TAFFWY--it's the true BLUE patriot's way to leave a mark...


Anne Johnson said...

My husband has seriously wondered how some of the worst scavenging CEO's have escaped being gunned down. I say it's only a matter of time, but then all hell will break loose. You just need to read about the union strife of the 1890s-1914 to see what the gubmint is willing to do. Especially the current gubmint.

Anonymous said...

where is Blofil when ya need him...nefarious plots needed
its me katie