Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Hey, Everybody! Let's Play "P*nk The F*ckin' C*nts"

Who is the most despicable chickenshit chickenhawk/war-booster/Bushevik apologist you can think of? What fate should befall them, which will submit them to the obloquy they deserve?

mAnnCoulter? Fishhead Malagalagadingdong? Fallafel O'Reilly? Fawn Hannity? Double-Down Bennett? Drowner Norquist? 6-Month Friedman? Use your imagination!!!

I am offering a $100 Gift Certificate for the store or chain of choice to the correspondent here who suggests the best (and most practicable) expedient for heaping scorn and humiliation on the certifiable shitheels of the Flying Monkey Right.

Judging will be by accomplished by the readers of the blog, family and friends of the blogger, and anyone else who wishes to compete for the honor and the prizes.

C'mon, folks. Let's fuck 'em up!!!!


Hecate said...

Oh, I'm no good at these games. Could we take Joe Lieberman and make him go to funerals of dead soldiers for the next two years? I pick Joe because he gives Bush "bipartisan" coverage. But I'm sure others will think of better ones.

bo said...

EMT's unsuccessfully attempt to resuscitate O'Reilly after his electrocuted by a electrical short in his buttplug. Medics were contacted by Dawn Eden who happended to be on the phone with O'Reilly when the mishap occurred.

Anonymous said...

I would like to see them receive a medal of honor from the Iraqi guard unit that just murdered/tortured/beheaded our two ambushed soldiers - the medal to be for their unswerving devotion to sending Americans to die in Iraq.


Mal said...

You have to find something that uses the tactics already used to obsfuscate the real issues by latching on to one of the current or likely non-issues.

Perhaps a fake newsletter or petition trying to build outrage over a proposed amnesty program for uninsured ill*gal ali*ns to get cheap g*vt subsidized auto insurance? That actually sounds too practical, but you could easily get folks like C*ulter, O'Ri*lly, R*sh and Savage to jump on the bandwagon denouncing it on air and that could even backfire on them into real proposed legislation for something that actually sounds like it makes sense. And that's what you need - something where the gullibilty factor and knee jerk reaction are invoked because it is plausible. Write it up as a petition or launch a web site against this "issue" claiming Hilary Clinton's or Feinstein's aides leaked the proposed legislation and fax or email it and post it to some appropriate audiences and watch the meme spread. Send it to Stephen Colbert and he'd do wonders for getting the news out fast.

I tried to bait the world a few years ago with a fake article about how music pirates of a new ilk were flooding the net with forged music claiming to be by famous musicians but really using it as a means to foist fake "forged" music on listeners downloading via p2p file sharing.

I couched it in the framing of a famous rock writer's article about a new issue of concern pending elgislation, circulated via email as a meme, and spiced it up with a few fake quotes from Ozzy Ozbourne outraged that more fake copies of forged music from his new CD had been downloaded than the real thing that wasn't even out yet, and Brian Eno taking a "I think it's flattering" pose and suggesting he might release the fake music as his own as a nod to Zappa's "beat the boots" series. Eno's PR folks got a copy and were amused and said they'd check with Brian because Rolling Stone had recently credited him with quotes about a Roxy Music reunion he'd never said anything about.

It talked about efforts in the works to legislate and criminalize "forged" music released under the claim it was made by someone else. One of my goals was to possibly send copies to local legislators seeing if I could bait them into actually proposing legislation or giving any press to this fake "problem" plauging the industry. I think I actually sent at least one letter off to a local elected official I'd been previous disgusted with over online music rights issues, (Coble), and demanding his action.

Quite a few people bought it hook, line and sinker. I was amazed at how quickly it did spread even to friends of the writer I'd claimed had written it. I know copies got forwarded by industry friends to folks at the RIAA before they found out it was a fake. A few people that even knew Dave Marsh thought the article was by him but at least one of his friends could tell it wasn't his style. That was one of two people who actually questioned it before I fessed up.

Of course, if I could think of this then I'm sure people have been doing what I claimed, and since then I've heard more stories of music claiming to be rare works by so and so (Nick Drake is one I've heard disputed) so there's probably an element of truth to it. I stull think it's a plausible way to at least get my own music heard.

I think what would work best for what you describe is something along these lines. A concerted effort to force legislation over some absurd non-issue that would be enough to get press, outrage and public statements from a whole gaggle of politicos and pundits ready to jump on the bandwagon, then pull the rug out and expose it for the prank it was intended as.

Things like the hype over a version of our anthem sung in Spanish just beg for non-issues to be foisted on the politicos to hype using their typical methods of distraction and diversion. It would be so easy to find something like this and get mainstream press and buy in from a duped public and legislators. Rumors of illegal aliens doing session recording work on hits by pop stars?

You could take just about any of the issues hyped to divert attention from the real issues (like health care or energy costs) and put a slight spin on it with some fake documentation or even buy-in from some industry folks willing to play the game. And the. just watch the lemmings follow, then pull the plug on it. I'm sure you could find many musicians or movie stars to even go along with something like this to add some credibility to it - they could claim they'd been duped too later if they were afraid of any risk of backlash.

My goal would be to get actual legislation proposed before you expose it as being as a huge waste of time trying to legislate non-issues. Or to get real, worthwhile legislation proposed as a backlash fed and fueled by the right wing media.

We need some laws on the books banning animal/human marriages, don't we? And somehow it would seem like poetic justice to see the fall elections fueled by this sort of stuff and to be able to expose it as a prank. Let's require all PCs to have a nudity filter built in with vchips for parental controls. Ban music with sounds of fake s*x used, it is clearly corrupting our youth. Label all p*rn with notifications about s*x addiction and national hotlines for psychiatric care. Ban transs*xuals from public restrooms and locker rooms. Outlaw the use of celeb doubles being allowed to rent out to parties after a drunk Bush rent-a-clone ruined some kid's birthday bash.

There are so many topics we could easily build a real but useless sense of outrage on and then watch the dominos fall once you set them in motion. We're pending prime time ads for fall election campaigns. We could have a lot of fun with this if you pick something that is believable enough and target the right audience and do what they do -- build a huge issue out of nothing. Why just target one icon when you can shoot at the whole flock? We could help sway a whole election if you did this right and timed it perfectly.

sightunseen said...

I would love to see a new merkin teevee show,, call it , 'Baghdad Morgue; The Midnight Shift', have those cameras in tight and close,,, unmercifully close,, cos we, being strong brave merkins Can Take It,, Have this show on Every channel, All the time, All the days, a relentless scoop on the joy that we, as a nation, are bringing to the beloved city of Baghdad. Cut into the programming like the boys did in ,'Used Kars,',

And naw,, I ain't intering no contest, now, if it was for a ,, oh , I don't know, a can of Pinion coffee,, well,, write home, bro.

sightunseen said...

Continued; (cos i forgot this last part)
we would, of course, need a panel of judges, who would judge on the most gross human body part of the fucking carnage. Whichever body part won,, it would bear the honor, predicated on the approval of the victims family, of being sent to mr. bush.

Anne Johnson said...

I'm channelling Ed Wood now:

"Pull the strings. Pull the strings."

Most despicable? Cheney by a landslide, he laps the bloody pack, bad ticker or no.

His punishment? HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

I just learned he has a $4 million property on the Chesapeake Bay. BRING ON THE FUCKIN' GLOBAL WARMING AND DROWN THAT RAT!

Oh, now you've got me going. Make him climb onto the roof of his house, with rescue teams opting to save the poor black Chesapeake Bay crabbers first!