Monday, January 12, 2009

The 50 "Most Loathesome" People In The World


From "The Beast," via Pharyngula (naturally). Glorious, brilliant, vicious, post-partisan invective, for true fans of the art. Among the choices, at # 50, is Mr. O.:
50. Barack Obama

Charges: Beyond a few token acts of bipartisan marketing, Barry's major duty in the Senate was to avoid legislating, so he could pretend Washington-outsider status and nullify attacks on his non-existent policy positions. That's the thing about Obama and his candidacy: He was a blank slate, the pinnacle of vapid public relations—onto which the benighted masses may project their sincerest, yet unfounded, hopes in the wake of the worst administration in history. Couldn’t disown Rev. Wright, until he suddenly could, and then marred his first moments as president ahead of time by inviting a pastor whose advice to gays is just to refrain from sex for life. Promised not to run for president, then did; vowed to take public election funds, then didn't; backed telecom immunity, then accepted the nomination at the AT&T sponsored convention; expressed displeasure with Clinton's hawkish foreign policy and vote for war in Iraq, then named her as Secretary of State. And despite all that, he's plenty affable. There's nothing more loathsome than a likable politician.(Emphasis supplied.)

Exhibit A: “Yes we can” is the “Just do it” of politics.

Sentence: Presiding over the decline of an exhausted empire
Here's # 1:
1. Sarah Palin

Charges: If you want to know why the rest of the world is scared of Americans, consider the fact that after two terms of disastrous rule by a small-minded ignoramus, 46% of us apparently thought the problem was that he wasn’t quite stupid enough. Palin’s unending emissions of baffling, evasive incoherence should have disqualified her for any position that involved a desk, let alone placing her one erratic heartbeat from the presidency. The press strained mightily to feign respect for her, praising a debate performance that involved no debate, calling her a “great speaker” when her only speech was primarily a litany of insults to city-dwellers, echoing bogus sexism charges when a male Palin would have been boiled alive for the Couric interview alone, and lionizing her as she used her baby as a Pro-life stage prop before crowds who cooed when they should have been hurling polonium-tipped javelins. In the end, Palin had the beneficial effect of splitting her party between her admirers and people who can read.

Exhibit A: Waving her embryo-loving credentials, in the form of her Down syndrome baby, at "But ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy."

Sentence: Hand-to-hand combat with Vladimir Putin and a pack of wolves.
The intervening 48 will come as no surprise to anyone, and includes Joe Lieberman (with an apt illustration), Sean Hannity, Ben Stein Peggy Noonan, Keith Olberman, Michelle Malkin, Bernie Madoff, John Edwards, and all Clintons...Bush and Cheney reprise their appearances from previous years, naturally.

(Written by Allan Uthman & Ian Murphy with contributions from John Dolan, Eileen Jones, Alexander Zaitchik, & IOZ.
Illustrations by Ian Murphy.
)

2 comments:

Liberality said...

Sentence: Presiding over the decline of an exhausted empire
yup, that about sums it up doesn't it?

Mr. Pelican said...

Our civilization is over.
This should be compulsory reading for all americans who can read. To those who can't, & that's 'bout 45%, it should be aired on Monday night NFL
WWF, Jerry Springer, ( is he still on?)Bass fishing channel, and U.F.C, with simulcasts on rush limberger and fox and friends. With any luck, that 45 % will have collective apoplexy AND DIE!