Sunday, March 29, 2009

Who's The "UN-SEXIEST" Man In The World?

Well according to the esteemed critics of hawt at the Boston Phoenix, it's the obese, obnoxious, odious Oxycontin overdoser, TUSH...er, that is, RUSH LIMBAUGH. Raw Story spread the news, and I found out about it at Attaturk's place, and was I ever SHOCKED...See for your self:
The man who touted 'Barack the Magic Negro' and mocked Michael J. Fox for allegedly faking Parkinson's disease has beaten out the man who stole nearly $65 billion for a dubious accolade.

Rush Limbaugh, mocked as "Jabba the Nut" by free weekly Boston Phoenix, has been selected as the ugliest man of the year by the paper. The 99 runner-up unsexiest men of the year can be viewed at this link.

"America’s ugliest moment of 2009? Rush Limbaugh, his man-boobs a-jiggle, bouncing at the CPAC podium to bask in the sickly glow of conservatism’s orgy of greed, avarice, and arrogance," the paper writes. "Here, at last, was the shining image of the 21st century Republican Party: a leeringly rich Baby Boomer squatting at the top of the mountain, reaping his jollies from the suffering of those at the bottom, praying for the failure of hope.

"If this hypocritical and morally repugnant reformed Oxy junkie wants to discuss “failure,” maybe we should talk about his career as an NFL commentator — or the last time he detoxed off prescription smack,"
they add.

Number two? Chris Brown who they say is imitating "Ike Turner's worst traits" and brings "new meazning to the phrase 'hit record,' citing his recent spat with star Rihanna. Number three: Bernie Madoff, the man who mounted the largest Ponzi scheme in history.
"Unsexy," in this usage, is apparently a cumulative puke factor, a mixture of vanity, violence, and just plain, over-all revulsion, rather than any particular, purely physical characteristics.

Attaturks summation is just about right:
Hard to believe, but it was the wet t-shirt contest combined with his patented shaking while mocking people with Parkinson's Disease that clinched it for Rush, or as the Dominican hookers know him, El Pene de las Pinzas .