Monday, August 07, 2006

The Dangers of Goat-Lust

According to a report on NPR's Morning Edition today, Sharia clerics in Iraq have condemned to death shepherds who have not covered with diapers the genitals of their goats, apparently on the theory that the uncovered goat genitals were an offensively provocative erotic exhibit.

And they have also condemned and executed grocers who are careless with the displays of their vegetables: the juxtaposition of a carrot with two cherry tomatoes was apparently sufficient provocation to the mullahs that the offending grocer and two customers were killed when the store was fire-bombed to demonstrate their displeasure...

I hope i shall not be adjudged too intolerant of religious diversity when I proclaim that I do not want these fucking loons living next door to me, or in my community, or even in my city, state, or nation, with or without the capacity to punish real or imagined offenses to the pubic morality.


Anne Johnson said...

As a certified goat judge (American Goat Association), I find goat-diapering to be inconsistent with established protocols for both meat and milk production.

It would take at least two people to diaper a goat. One would have to distract the goat by feeding it. The other would be close to a set of hind legs that can inflict damage to the human body. The finished product would be a goat whose temper would be aroused in very unpleasant ways.

I would suggest to all your readers that they should check all packages of goat cheese for the country of origin. Contamination of product is something goat judges are trained to identify, but ordinary consumers may not know how to do it.

LittleBrother said...

In Iraq, the greengrocers quickly learn to keep the plums and bananas as far apart from each other as possible.