So this Department ofI highlighted the first edit, and rely on your acumen to recognize the rest.
Water ResourcesHomeland Security representative stops at a Texas ranch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for the border fence."
The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."
The DHS guy gets real huffy and says, "Mister, I have the authority of President Bush with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any border land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.
A couple of minutes pass, and pretty soon the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the DHS guy running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull. The bull is gaining with every step. The DHS fella is terrified, yelling at the top of his lungs to the rancher for help. Right away, the old rancher throws down his tools, hobbles to the fence, and yells at the top of his lungs.....
"Your card, man! Your CARD! Show him your FUCKING card!"
There will not be a test.