Friday, December 22, 2006

A Creation Story: On the Becoming of Dog & Cat

(Courtesy of my friend Yim)

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how se lfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, " I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into C at's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved. And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.


Tena said...

O Woody, that's so funny.


Happy Holidays, handsome!

notwatchingtelevision said...

Just great. I'm stealing this for our family's holiday story hour. Hope that's okay. -- cs, art is bread

Uncle Smokes said...

That was fun.

It does remind me, though, that there is more than one creation story in Genesis. The second, muted one begins in the current Bible in chapter 2, verse 4.

This creation story echoes an earlier mythos where man was created merely to be God's gardener, a keeper of the good Earth, not the dominant creature made in the image of God as stated in the first chapter.

Don't get me started on that whole tree business.

As for the fun story you posted, perhaps God created us as pets. Such a mythos demands each of us to answer: Are you God's wagging dog, or Its indifferent cat?

Sometimes, though, I feel like more like God's gerbil, running on Her rickety wheel.

[Of course, saying "gerbil" brings up unsavory inferences of some of God's other desires for mankind, but I'm above that sort of thinking. ;)]

ej said...

Rock on, Kokopelli! And, I agree--favorite authors--Carl Hiaassen, Douglas Adams, & John D. MacDonald. And about Time Bandits, Brazil (and any Monty Python movie). Which Magnificent Seven--US or Japanese?

Woody Guthrie's Guitar (aka Konopelli) said...

Which Magnificent Seven--US or Japanese?

i love 'em both, but for different reasons...

charley said...

just got back from cancun in time for Xmas.

the photographer i was with was joyously jumped all over by his faithful loving dog.

steve, my cat, just stomped out of the house upon my arrival. but he was miffed, and i think that showed he cared.