For those with a weakness for Holiday-Mafia-Romantic-Comedy Films

USA Network will show The Three Wise Guys twice this holiday season:

1) December 22, at 2 pm EST
2) December 23, at 3 am EST

My appearance comes in the last sequence in the first hour, which occurs in a church where a Nativity Play is in rehearsal in preparation for the seasonal festivities. If seeing me is your heart's desire, and all the rest can go pound sand, turn it on at about 2:40 pm/3:40 am, and watch til the top the hour. I appear, in the costume here previewed, on the right-hand side of the frame, glaring menacingly from behind the communion rail, at a lectern, at the strangers who have pursued the obviously pregnant madonna into our sacristy.

Here's a plot summary covering the rest:

‘Twas the night before Christmas and Murray Crown (Tom Arnold), owner of the Regal Crown Casino, is spreading anything but Christmas cheer. To keep his accountant Leo (Arye Gross) from ratting him out to the feds about his not-so-legal financial reporting, Murray directs his ‘Wise Guys’ George (Judd Nelson), Vincent (Nick Turturro) and Joey (Eddie McClintock) to permanently shut him up -- and to find out where Jake Marley (Josh Berry), his partner in crime and the casino's drummer, is hiding out.

On their way back from burying Leo in the desert, the Three Wise Guys swerve to avoid hitting a stranded motorist, an eight-and-a-half-month pregnant stunner named Mary (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe). Her tale of woe tugs at the heartstrings of the hired thugs. They drive Mary to the bus station, give her some money for her trip home and see her off. But not everything is the way it seems. They soon learn that Mary is at the heart of their mission and Murray wants her back. George, Vincent and Joey track her down, but the expectant mother is crafty and manages to give them the slip.

The next time they catch up with her, however, Joey is one step ahead and makes sure she'll lead them straight to her boyfriend, the "drummer boy." She does, but the situation soon takes a perilous turn and Murray's wife Shirley (Katie Sagal) gets caught in the fray. The Wise Guys then find themselves playing hero as they try to save Mary and Shirley so they’ll live to see the sun rise on Christmas morning.

See whatch'all will be missing?

O, yeah, and be SURE to watch the trailer: it is signally awful!